These ideas are possible guides in managing emotions and dealing with people and situations.
I’m expressing my understanding, but everything here was influenced by others. For example, non-judgment, non-attachment, and non-resistance are inspired by Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth. And Tolle himself acknowledges he did not originate the ideas.
Each of these non-commandments warrants further elaboration. Think about these things, or don’t.
- Non-judgment. The Biblical quotes “Judge not by appearances” and “Judge not, lest ye be judged” are pertinent. To look down on another for apparent flaws in morals, habits, intellect, looks, physical fitness, or whatever is to permit others more virtuous, intelligent, and better-looking to look down on you.
- Non-attachment. There are no “if onlys.” “If only she’ll say yes, if only my party wins the election, if only I had a new car then I’ll be happy.” Your thoughts, and only your thoughts, determine how you perceive the world; your thoughts create your reality. Seeing good in the world will allow you to see more good in the world.
- Non-resistance. You have nothing to judge and nothing to lose, and therefore nothing to fear. You have no cause to return evil for evil; that just creates more evil. Building walls (literal and emotional) to protect your home or your happiness will drain your resources and energy and stymie your freedom and creativity.
- Non-conformity. Many of our tastes, values, and desires are conditioned by our families, communities, and broader culture, but never in identical ways. There is no certain way you need to act or dress to “belong” or feel loved. You are free to be “weird.” You’re free to do whatever you want. Accept yourself.
- Non-aggression. Do not use force — violence or the threat of violence — to get your way. Do not consent to politicians passing laws that force others to do or behave as you would like.
- Non-coercion. Do not exert power over physically or financially weaker people by taking away their options and choices so that they can only “consent” to do what you would have them do. Do not use politics or other means to deny freedom to others.