On the departure of a friend

Feeling thankful for those who are, and were, in my life

Some of these remarks were spoken at a family reunion this past summer, during a time to honor departed members of the extended family. I had thought about turning them into an essay, and now is the right time.

A friend and spiritual mentor, whom I’ve known for just over three years, passed on this week after an illness. Toni was 74.

Whenever a friend, family member, or admired celebrity makes their transition, I’m reminded of Jake Brewer.

I didn’t know Jake Brewer. He was senior technology advisor to President Obama. He was also a competitive triathlete, and had been a college national champion in the run-bike duathlon.

On September 19, 2015, Jake was in a charity bicycle race. He lost control of his bike on a sharp curve and was hit by an oncoming vehicle. He died from the injuries.

Jake left behind a two year-old daughter, and a wife who was in her third trimester with their second daughter.

His wife was the political commentator Mary Katherine Ham. As she later explained to Alison Rosen, she thought about how healthy he was, how experienced and skilled a rider he was, and how he had trained others in accident mitigation. His dying in a bicycle race was so unlikely that it gave her a sense of peace: That was it; the man had 34 years.